Jack of All Trades
"Jack of All Trades" is the twelfth episode of Miami Vice's fifth season. The episode premiered on March 3, 1989. Summary Crockett's black-sheep cousin, Jack, finds himself on the wrong side of a $50,000 debt and drags his police cousin into the scheme. Plot Two men are chasing after another man through a shopping mall when the chased man runs into a clothing store to try on some new threads, then gives the clerk a bad credit card and ducks out the exit. Waiting for him at the elevator is mall security, who takes him in right past the men that were chasing him. Metro has him in custody and the runner says he was working undercover and that Crockett was his contact. Crockett & Tubbs arrive at Metro and discover, to his surprise, the arrested man is Crockett's cousin, Jack (David Andrews). The store owner, Eddie, wants to prosecute Jack, but Crockett reviews his file of numerous aliases and offenses, including a search warrant because of his recent stolen property offenses, and Eddie leaves quick. Crockett talks about Jack being the same as dandruff, a family embarrassment, and he has a long list of scams, but Jack tells his cousin he's through with scams, and he has a "real" job, working as a pool salesman, and he immediately makes a sale to Ray Soliz (Robert Miranda) of some not so reliable pool hardware, making Crockett even more skeptical, and Soliz calls Jack over to find his pool was dirtier than before, and threatens bodily harm if he don't make it right. Jack heads over to Soliz' backyard because he noticed some men stop in, and he witnesses the arrival of drugs. The men that were chasing Jack through the mall, including Harry Grubbs (John Santucci) find him and demands $50,000 he owes Harry from a bad restaurant deal in 24 hours...or else. Jack (in a rat disguise) goes back to Soliz' house and robs the dealer of cash. Jack returns to his house and finds his cousin waiting for him with a six pack, and Jack's story about his "date" is so outrageous Crockett follows him into his house, finds a lot of the furniture covered (while Jack is faking a phone conversation while trying to hide the money he stole), then Crockett gets a call about the $50,000 stolen from Soliz and has to leave, much to Jack's relief. Jack takes the stolen money to Grubbs, who is very happy Jack paid him back...and to get lost, but when Jack gets back to his place, two musclemen stuff him into a Mercedes trunk and take him to Soliz' place, who knows that he stole the money by his pink shoes, and that the money he stole belongs to another dealer named Octavio Escandero (Jesse Borrego), who wants his money in 24 hours...or else. Jack goes back to see Grubbs to arrange another scam, when he doesn't go for it, he then begs Grubbs for the money to prevent him being killed. Crockett is waiting for Jack in downtown, but Jack is being roughed up by Soliz' and Escandero's muscle, because the money he paid back was counterfeit (money he printed a few weeks ago), and Escandero gives Jack one hour to get his money, provided he takes his two musclemen with him. Jack is driven to where Crockett is, he sees what's going on and distracts the musclemen with a dropped beer can, gets Jack out of trouble, then threatens to beat the crap out of him if he isn't square with his cousin. Jack tells him he borrowed some money but wouldn't tell who, then softens his cousin up by telling him how he's the golden boy (war hero, football player, cop) and Jack is nothing, then he admits he owes the money to Escandero. Crockett (as Burnett) takes Jack to see Escandero (and tells him to play it straight or he will shoot Jack himself) and tell the dealer Jack is an embarrassment to his family, and agrees to return his money, and set up a drug deal. Jack goes to see Grubbs about getting counterfeit money for his payoff, rough him up, and tells him he's going to turn him into the cops, and his cousin is one of the best. Of course, Grubbs and Escandero are working together, gives him $200,000 in counterfeit money, and Grubbs blows Crockett's cover. Crockett and Jack are taken at gunpoint to Escandero's place, who lock them up in a room together, and Jack admits he was the one that blew Crockett's cover, and they fight in the room, as a ruse to lure one of Escandero's men in and they both punch the muscle out and Crockett shoots his way out, killing Soliz and Escandero, but Jack took the counterfeit money and escaped by boat. Crockett doesn't care, as he never wants to see his cousin again. Cast *Don Johnson as Metro-Dade Detective James "Sonny" Crockett *Philip Michael Thomas as Metro-Dade Detective Ricardo "Rico" Tubbs *Saundra Santiago as Metro-Dade Detective Gina Calabrese *Michael Talbott as Metro-Dade Detective Stan Switek *Olivia Brown as Metro-Dade Detective Trudy Joplin *Edward James Olmos as Metro-Dade Lieutenant Martin "Marty" Castillo Guest Stars *David Andrews as Jack Crockett *Robert Miranda as Ray Soliz *Jesse Borrego as Octavio Escondero *John Santucci as Harry Grubbs Co-Starring *Armando Costoya, Jr. as Martin *Scotty Gallin as Julio *Steve Geng as Eddie *Greg Gerard as Clerical Policeman *Leslie Lahman as Yvonne *Martin Martiness as Aide *Carlos Mena as Miguel Soliz *Jeff Moldovan as Metro-Dade Detective *Kirsten Steinhauer as Salesgirl *Shane Le Mar as Officer Evans (uncredited) Notes *Gina, Trudy, and Castillo do not appear in this episode. *This is the only fifth season episode that has a light-hearted tone, in extreme contrast to the next episode "The Cell Within". *Sonny mentions to Jack that he looked up to him as a child, as he had a motorcycle, and Sonny compared him to "Brando in the Wild One." Music All of the non-Tim Truman music in this episode is sung by the Swingle Singers: "Fugue #5 in D-Major", "Fugue #5 in D-Minor", "Aria", and "Zweistimmige Inventionen No. 1 C-Dur", mostly in the scenes involving Jack. Quotes *"If I were you, I'd go easy on the outrage Mr. Eddie Abbott, alias Eddie Gomez, alias Eddie Gilbert, alias Gilbert Tobias, who is it this week, Eddie Rabbitt?" -- Crockett to "Eddie" Category:Miami Vice Season 5 Episodes